Chapter 1
Jessa looked over the gray sea and felt an emptiness drain everything out of her. Micah sat beside her on the piece of driftwood and gazed out over the same ocean. The calm sea was a miracle. Storms had been battering the coast every day since her arrival for the Christmas holidays, but today was peaceful, even though it was cold and overcast.
She shivered inside her coat and wished that she could think of something inspirational to say, but all she wanted to do was cry.
Well, I guess tomorrow is the big day, huh?” Jessa said, keeping her eyes on the sea.
Micah nodded. “We’re leaving about noon.”
Jessa could feel the anxiety knotting inside of Micah. “What is it?” she asked.
“I wish that I could be in two places at the same time,” he said. “I mean, I know that I should be on my mission and I definitely want to go, but part of me feels like I should be staying here to look after my family. Jared is at such a vulnerable age.”
“You’re worried that because you started drinking at fourteen that maybe Jared will follow in your footsteps?”
Micah nodded and looked down at the sand. His jaw tense. “That’s a big part of it. But there’s more. While our family was in therapy, he would never talk about our father’s abandonment. Whenever we would start to talk about that, he would withdraw. I still don’t know what he’s thinking, and I’m afraid that he continues to harbor feelings of guilt and pain.” Micah paused and threw a stone into the sand. “I just don’t know how to get through to him. He’s a good kid and he’s chosen good friends, but I still feel this overwhelming need to protect him. Mom and I have talked about it, and she knows that Jared is still resentful towards our father.”
“And what about you, Micah? What are your feelings about your dad?”
“I think I’ve worked through most of the bad stuff. It’s not a pleasant subject, but I really feel like I’ve been able to put him out of my life.” He turned toward Jessa. “You know what my worst fear is, Jessa?”
“What?”
“That Monty Stevenson will show up here while I’m away and I won’t be able to look after my mom or my brother.”
Jessa understood Micah’s concern. “I never thought of that. Do you think your father would do that?”
“I don’t know. I just have this feeling.”
“What kind of feeling?”
“That we haven’t heard the last of him.”
“He’s still an open chapter in your book, isn’t he, Micah? I know that you’ve dealt with it successfully with the information that you have, but it makes sense that part of you can’t shut him out completely.”
“I guess that’s it.” He looked over the gray expanse that stretched before him. “Somewhere, out there is a man who is my father, and I don’t want him coming into town and upsetting my mom and brother while I'm away.”
“Micah, listen to me. I know that you have faith in the Lord, or you wouldn’t be going on a mission. Trust in Him, Micah.”
Micah nodded. “It’s a matter of faith, isn’t it?”
“It almost always is,” Jessa replied.
Turning towards the ocean, Jessa found it hard to believe that eighteen months had gone by since she had visited Micah in the rehabilitation hospital. But the time had slipped by and within its boundaries she and Micah had become close friends. Now he was ready to leave on his mission for the southern states. Quietly she choked down a sob, but Micah heard.
“It’s okay, Jess,” he said. “I feel the same way. I know that I’ll really miss you. There's a part of me that's scared to be without the support that you’ve given me these last eighteen months. When I think of how I spent my high school days in a haze of alcohol, it almost makes me want to wretch. I hope I never have to go through that again.”
Jessa calmed herself. “Oh, Micah, I know that you’ll be a terrific missionary. The Mission Training Center will be a great place for you to cultivate new friendships and once you’re in South Carolina, you’ll meet new and exciting people that will strengthen your testimony.”
“Maybe so, but no one will ever be able to take your place, Jess. No one.”
Jessa smiled and took Micah’s hand. “I’m counting on that, Micah Stevenson,” she said.
He squeezed her hand and then released it. “I wish I could give you a hug, but I don’t want to stain my perfect record so early in my missionary career.”
Jessa laughed. “Well, then we’d better get you home before someone sees us out here together.”
Micah became serious once again as he gave the ocean a long look. “I’ve never been away from the ocean before.”
“You’ll only be in Provo for a short time, then you’ll be back on the coast. I hear Georgia and South Carolina are pretty.”
“That’s true, but I hear that the ocean is different over there. From what I’ve read, it’s real warm and calm.”
“Well, that will be different, won’t it?”
Micah sighed. “Yeah. I have a feeling a lot of things will be different.”
“C’mon, Micah. Let’s get you home.” Jessa stood and she and Micah moved through the sand to Jessa’s car. Micah had sold his truck to help finance his mission. Occasionally he saw it around town but lately he’d been too busy to even look for it.
When they got to Micah’s door, Jessa stepped in. The living room was scattered with shoe boxes and large sacks from the local department stores. Two huge suitcases were open on the floor and they were stuffed full of items that Micah would be needing for everyday living; white shirts, toothpaste, socks, ties and slacks jostled for space in the crowded area that Micah would call home for the next two years. In one corner of the nearest suitcase, Jessa saw Micah’s missionary scriptures. She had given them to him as a Christmas gift the year before and although they weren’t that old they were already beginning to show some wear. Jessa remembered the words that she had written on the title page. “Eternal friends,” she had said. Ever since then it had been their signature. As the last eighteen months had slipped by they had signed their letters with those words to remind themselves and each other that distance would not hamper their friendship.
Gazing at the scriptures now, Jessa felt the promise renew itself in her heart.
Micah saw her eyes fastened on the holy books. “See, you’ll never be far from me,” he said with a warm smile.
Micah’s mother walked in from the kitchen with his younger brother, Jared, who was holding a bag of chips. “Hi, Jessa. Want to stay for dinner?” he asked.
Jessa looked at Jared and once again was amazed at how much he’d grown. His voice had changed and sometimes she felt like she needed to get to know him all over again. She looked at her watch. “Oops. No, thanks, Jared. I’ve got to get home and eat with my folks. They really like me to have dinner at home during the holidays.”
Jessa said good-bye to Susan and Jared before walking to her car with Micah. “Thanks for spending this afternoon with me, Jess. It really means a lot to me.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she said. Standing there by her car door, she knew that she needed to get in and drive away, but now that it had come down to the final moment, Jessa didn’t want to say good-bye. She wanted to stare at Micah and memorize everything about him; his black course hair, his sea green eyes, strong jaw and cheekbones.
With a gentle motion, he caressed her face. “You’ll never be far from me, Jess,” he repeated. “I promise.”
Jessa felt the tears well up in her eyes, and she looked away for a moment before taking Micah’s hand. Then she looked straight into his eyes. “Nor you from me,” she said. Then she let go of his hand and opened her car door and climbed in behind the wheel. She never had been any good at saying good-bye and this was proving harder than any other good-bye she had ever had to say.
Turning the key, Jessa put the car in gear and watched as Micah stepped out of the way. It was growing dark and a light rain was beginning to fall as the headlights of her car swept across the lone figure in the driveway. With an uplifted hand, Micah gave Jessa a final wave.
Three blocks away from the Stevenson household, Jessa pulled over to the curb and put the car in park before leaning her head on the steering wheel. Sobs racked her as feelings of happiness and depression mingled together within her. One minute she would cry because she was happy for Micah and the choice blessings he would be able to receive during the next two years. Then she would cry with sadness as she thought of two summers without Micah’s presence. The ocean just would not be the same without his steady friendship. For months now, she had been telling herself that two years was not that long and that she would have plenty to occupy her time during Micah’s mission. But as the reality of eight seasons without her friend gripped her heart, Jessa could only think of one thing. Two years went beyond forever. It stretched all the way through eternity.
